What am I thinking / doing in this picture?

Overall, this was a good summer. Sent time with my Dad on Vancouver Island; healed my broken thumb to the point where I could go back to work; got a new roommate and considered changing my focus on life.

Question: Given the chance to change one thing, would you change anything in your life?

[Insert Life Plan Here]

There are times when I am not sure about tomorrow or the next day; so how can people plan for a lifetime when so many unexpected things occur?

It is more of a rhetorical question, but at the same time it makes me wonder why I try to make plans and choices for the long term when these plans always seem to be redrafted.

What is the next stage? How does one plan for someone/somethings unknown?

These thoughts are on my mind lately.

ich will nur in deiner naehe sein ...

in der nacht wenn du schlaefst.

Had A Bad Day

Yesterday, I cried at my desk. Listening to a song that is played every day, drinking my normal coffee and reading my normal morning web sites; I started to feel overwhelmed and my vision started to blur with tears.

The day just kept sinking from that point forward. There were a whole bunch of little things, that on an average day would have been barely noticeable but yesterday they seems impossible to conquer.

Lately, I am very emotional and cannot seem to keep them under control.

Odd. Very odd.

There are times in the day when the clock stops moving and the world stops turning - in my mind these small fractions of time transform themselves into an endless abyss; the thoughts are long, insightful and uncomfortable.

The questions of "what if" ... these are questions that rarely come to me, but in the endless second of the unmoving clock, it is unaddressed "what if" questions that spring forward demanding attention.

Is this a method from the cosmos to prepare my mind for possible situations or just a random firing in my brain?

If you could have one "what if" answered, what would you ask (and why)?

I am ...

I am thinking about...if I am making the right choices.
I said... too much but not enough.
I want to... be able to express myself more.
I wish... I could determine a path for myself.
I miss...being so certain of my life.
I hear... too many doubts and not enough assurance
I wonder...if things will become less complicated
I regret...nothing.
I am...uncertain of so many things.
I dance... in my living room.

I laugh... at myself.
I sing...all the time.
I cry...when I am alone.
I am not always...able to express myself.
I write... with horrible penmanship.
I confuse...wants and needs.
I need...to be brave in my mistakes.
I should try... to write of list of things I want to do in 2009.
I finish...almost everything that I start.